Magulang o Pera?

On my way home last midnight (which was just a couple of hours ago), I saw a group of street children at a corner near my house. They were probably aged between 8-10 but they looked like they were just 6-8 which is the case with most malnourished children. But unlike the ordinary youngster who lives a comfortable and sheltered life, they have to hustle to get by and every step they take means life or death.

But one of the boys asked the rest of the group this question which I believe most children their age won't even have to bother to think about: Ano mas pipiliin mo? Magulang mo o pera? (Which would you rather choose, your parents or money?). One automatically answered: Siyempre magulang ko! (Of course, my parents!). There was a tinge of insult and disgust in his voice, as if it was so appalling that the other child even bothered to ask such a thing. And this made me smile. I hate that we often look at the underprivileged as gold-diggers whose only concern is taking advantage of the next best thing that comes their way. These children proved that family still does matter and that nothing can ever replace the love of a father and a mother for their child. It made me think about my own parents too and how I'd surely give up everything I have now just to be with them again. Because it's true, money can't buy you happiness at all. And even these little children know that.

I'll be wishing well for these kids. I hope the system doesn't make them lose hope and that they continue to fight through life with their values in tact despite the lack of material things. And as a person who has more access, privilege and resources, I hope I can one day help change the system too so that kids like them don't have to debate on these kind of issues nor worry about money or their next meal. They have the right to live comfortably, eat healthily, be able to have fun, get education and be just like any other kid! One day I hope I'd see them off the streets at midnight and instead be home safe with their families. :-)

Ze NMAT

When hope was still in perspective. See that big smile?

Never have four letters scared me as much as N, M, A and T.

To science majors, intarmed students or plain old smartypants, the NMAT might just be another 400-point exam. No big deal! But to me, it was everything! Well okay, not everything, but it was definitely something. I won't deny that I reviewed for it--spent hours practicing chemistry and physics problems, word problems, researched on bio concepts, even timed myself in preparation for Part 1 and killed myself with caffeine. Yes, I did put some effort into it. I didn't just get up one day and think, oh hey why don't I take the exam? I even tried to sleep early and avoid alcohol.

But unfortunately, I didn't get the coveted 90+ percentile. Did it break me? No. Did it disappoint? Well yes. Did I expect not to get within that percentile? Definitely. I knew I wasn't gonna get it but I did not expect such a low score. Don't get me wrong I did not "fail" the exam and I still got within the percentile needed for the med school I want but a little part of me trembled when I opened that pdf file.

I hear stories of people who were drunk the night before they took their exam and still got a 99 or those who started reviewing that same week and still got a pretty damn good score. Well I guess it sucks to be me? So I try to rationalize everything by saying that I'm a Behavioral Sciences major anyway and all my stock knowledge about biology, chemistry and physics have probably deteriorated over the past four years or that I ran out of time or that I was so tensed thus the "low" score.

But hey, all that doesn't matter right now. Thanks to friends who know exactly what to say (I love you all so much you have no idea) and who never made me feel like a disappointment, I'm all good. It was just a stupid test anyway and it's not like my whole life has been encapsulated by just two digits.

So I'm back in the game and I've never wanted this more than anything. I am really ready for you med school! ;-) And if there's one thing my NMAT result has made me realize, it's this: We don't always get what we want but somehow we still end up blessed with what we really need.

Hello World!

This is probably my nth blog already but I've decided to create a new one that I can use as an outlet for my thoughts and opinions about the "real world." My junior and senior year in college has exposed me to so many things that 10 years ago I'd probably be totally unaware of. And I'd like to use this blog to "record" these experiences. What for exactly, well I'm not so sure yet. No one might even get to read this blog and how it can affect the bigger world out there is beyond me. But I'm doing this for myself and my future self who one day might look at this. She'll probably laugh (like how I usually do when I read old posts) but hopefully she'd be a better person. And also, in this fast-paced world it's so easy to lose your patience and often we forget how life is so precious and time can slip by so fast. Sometimes we all need to sit back, relax and reflect on the things that truly matter. And I hope to do just that with this blog.

So here's to the highs and the lows, the strange and beautiful things, place I've yet to go, friends I've yet to meet, books I've yet to read, movies I've yet to see, foods I've yet to taste, music I've yet to hear, nights I've yet to get drunk on, things I might regret later, things I will cherish forever and the little in-betweens.

Cheers! ;-)